Hi Queen! I'm Amber
...and I am a Femininity& Self Acceptance coach. I am passionate about helping amazing women find power in their femininity.
I have spent years working on my growth, my worth and discovering who I am fully. It was painful, full of tears, forgiveness and tapping into the genuine woman I am to harness the untapped power. As a femininity coach, author, speaker and influencer in this niche, my dream is to be a guide and support for Queens who empower and celebrate other women but may not be confident or sure of themselves.
When I was younger, I remember so clearly being ostracized and belittled by other women.
Was it who I was? How I looked?
I was picked on and made to feel guilty when I dressed up to look pretty, or boys gave me attention, or when I talked about my talents or skills. What I learned from those experiences is - Vanity is a sin. And if I am vain and care about my looks and talents, that makes me shallow. And if I'm shallow, it means I'm not a good person Which in my mind, translated into not being a good mum, wife, friend, business person, etc. And being raised religious, you put more value on the inside than the outside, which is very true. But. I got picked on because I was pretty. Girls were mean because boys liked me, my mum (being a farm girl) didn't put value on looks. I didn't feel accepted. I couldn't be prettier, smarter or more talented than my friends, I was always taller, bigger, fatter than my friends and considered the mother hen. I felt I couldn't be the stand out because it would make people feel uncomfortable, jealous or less than.
I've been dealing with situations where I've been judged by my looks or who I was my entire life!! Not just other girls not liking me or thinking I'm a bitch, but it's not been okay for me to be good looking or outspoken at WORK because if I look too good, people think I'm dumb or a bimbo! I got told by a boss in a corporate setting he assumed I wouldn't amount to anything in the company because I was "Just a bartender" - Another boss in the same company admitted to me that the first time he met me he thought I was "Just a blonde bimbo"....basically called me stupid because I looked good. In a hotel kitchen I worked in, there was a running WAGER on how long I would last because I was "too pretty for the hard work of the kitchen" And even in the bar and night club environment, where being pretty is celebrated, you're automatically a bitch or stupid because you're pretty. So ALL of these experiences, concreted my belief that I had to downplay who I was - how I dressed, talked, what I did and how I acted - all to appease other people and to ensure they felt comfortable.
I am a massive RuPaul fan and one quote that kept banging around in my head was "What other people think of you is NONE of your business. It really resonated with me, and things began to change. I started becoming more aware of how I was stifling who I was around certain people - especially women who felt uncomfortable around me. It hit me...I AM A NICE PERSON, DAMNIT! I am helpful, empowering, supportive, loving, empathetic, friendly! And I'm also pretty, sexy, powerful, talented (I'm a goddamn opera singer, but do you think I talk about that??? No, because I felt I can't be too talented because that's intimidating). I'm inspiring and passionate! The fact that others are intimidated is NOT MY PROBLEM! I am amazing and I deserve to be and show all that I am!
It is our right, as women - as human beings - to live as our genuine, authentic selves. Starting is messy! Change is messy! But we are worth it. I get it, it's hard especially after years of conditioning yourself and your mind that you have to be one thing and put yourself in a box. You don't. I firmly believe that our purpose here on Earth, in this world, is to discover our true, authentic selves and choose each day to live life to our full potential. Now, how can you do that when you diminish your light?
is to help be a guiding light to women who have not discovered how powerful, sexy, alluring and beautiful they are.
Women who feel guilty about being sexy, confident, powerful.
Women who feel they have to downplay who they are because they might offend someone.
Queens who ache to be their true selves but have to downplay their femininity and sensuality and power because they are too busy listening, and internalizing, what other people think/say/act/do when they're around them!
I want to help these beautiful women step into their own brand of confidence and sensuality as a Queen! As the most authentic, ideal version of themselves!
My top 3 things I have learned about myself through this journey are
To stop downplaying who I am, how I act and what I want to appease someone else's feelings or opinions about me. That's a 'them' problem. And it's not up to me to baby those feelings. We can't control other people. The only control we have is over us, our emotions and reactions.
To forgive myself for past situations and guilt, and to change negative self talk into gratitude, confidence and empowerment for the things I love about myself. Holding on to guild only hurts you. It pigeon-holds you in a place of fear. How can we grow if we are stuck?
Acknowledging myself, my talents, my beauty, and who I am - being grateful for the journey and what made me who I am (rather than playing into insecurities) and daily choosing being a better version of who I was yesterday.
Remember how beautiful you are, Queen. Give yourself permission to be proud of yourself, to be authentic and true to yourself. Live your life fully and be happy!